Who I Am Inside
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: A split second can change a lot. For one Danville resident a decision made in a split second causes that person to totally reavaluate their life. What will come of this change and will things really change at all? How can anything be the same now?
1. Chapter 1: On Instinct

**Who I Am Inside**

**Chapter 1: On Instinct**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb. I promise that this story is written only for entertainment and not for profit. I am not making one red cent off of this. The only way that would ever happen is if the producers and writers ever decided to use this idea but I don't think they read Fanfiction stories. If they do, I have this to say: If you use this idea and don't pay me at least a dollar, I'll be very, very sad. My ideas are worth something. Everyone's are.**

**A/N: Second Phineas and Ferb story ever, first one I ever started writing but the second one I'm posting. Most of the credit for my courage in writing this story goes to TheCuriousWriter who looked over the first few chapters of this story and gave me advice. TCW is also responsible for my passing crush on Doofenshmirtz and the reason why I can now type and spell that name in my sleep… yeah, thanks for that…**

**Anyway, to make this clear right off the bat; I'm posting this now because I want to see what people think. This story will feature more of Perry the Platypus than my other story which I believe so far has only mentioned him in passing. As pairings go, I will NOT, that N-O-T write slash or anything resembling bestiality EVER (Unless of course, and only in the case of slash or femslash pairing, there was a couple that I actually believed were Homosexual but as of now for this fandom I have no such beliefs). As for Heterosexual pairings you can probably count on me for some pretty good Canderemy in the future. You may see some hints of Phinbella if I'm writing them as little kids and maybe further down the line a future fic with a bit more than hints. I'll probably NEVER write Ferbnessa (even in future fic form) and I'll be pouring on the Linda/Lawrence so be prepared for that.**

**Okay, this Author's Note will end up longer than this chapter if I don't stop soon but I wanted to get that all out there in the open before any Perryshmirtz fans got their hopes up on this one.**

**I hope you enjoy this story. Comments and suggestions are most appreciated.**

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today," Phineas Flynn said as he sat in the back yard, staring at their bikes "Let's have a bike race!"

Ferb nodded, indicating that he thought it was a good idea.

It wasn't long before Phineas had gathered all the neighborhood kids together in their backyard and produced a map showing the route that the race would take. "And we'll complete the first one back to the house wins," he finished.

Candace, who for once decided that what her brother's were up to was not at all bust worthy, was the one who dropped the flag so the race could begin.

The children left in a pack but soon the leaders began to split off from the pack and after a few blocks Phineas found himself with Isabella in front of him, far in front of him, and Ferb, Baljeet and Buford behind him. A block or so later and Buford had pulled ahead so that he was just behind Isabella. Another block found Baljeet making a surprise surge that placed him almost neck and neck with Buford.

Phineas and Ferb were left in fourth and fifth place. As Phineas rounded the corner onto the street opposite the news stand he could see that the front three racers had already gotten across the street safely. He and Ferb were neck and neck as they stopped to look both ways at the intersection.

It appeared safe enough so Phineas started across. He was nearly to the other side of the street when a car came hurtling through the intersection, hitting the bike.

"Phineas!" a lone scream from the boy on the bike just behind him was suddenly all that could be heard as the limp form of the boy who had been struck flew through the air.

XXX

Heinz Doofenshmirtz loathed paying a dollar and twenty five cents for his morning paper but he had to admit that he did enjoy the brisk morning walk to the newsstand that sat a jaunty three blocks from his building. He was perusing the available magazines and wondering if it was worth it to buy coffee at the café or if he should just make some sort of inator to steal all the coffee in the Tri-State Area so that people would have to pay him for their morning coffee when he heard the sickening screech of metal on metal and a boy screaming a name at the top of his lungs.

He turned just in time to see a limp red headed body land on the street, a car, the car that had hit the boy, speeding away, not even slowing. He took note that the boy who had been hit was already unconscious and could not have been the one who screamed and who was still calling out the same name. He took note that a green haired boy, appearing absolutely distraught, was still sitting atop a bike in the street, the other boy appeared unharmed.

Doofenshmirtz took all this in within a fraction of a second. By the next fraction of a second he was moving. He ripped off his lab coat immediately and used it to stem the blood that was flowing from the small body and pooling on the pavement.

He checked the boy's pulse and found that there was none. None, none whatsoever. Now Doofenshmirtz was not the type of doctor who would have been trained to treat a dying child. However, many years ago when his then wife had told him that she was pregnant, the evil scientist had taken the time to learn infant, child and adult CPR along with several other lifesaving techniques. He had still kept up with the training over the years and now he used it.

He compressed the boy's chest and gave him rescue breaths before once again checking the pulse. Still there was no sign of life from the child. Again, he compressed the boy's chest and gave him rescue breaths and there was no reward when he went to feel for a pulse.

Again, he repeated the procedure and finally there his efforts were rewarded with a flicker of life beneath his fingers. The boy let out a raspy cough and he managed to open his eyes a fraction.

The newsstand owner had called an ambulance and as the boy looked up at Doofenshmirtz in confusion and clearly in pain, the ambulance's sirens could be heard in the distance. It wasn't long before the noise seemed to return to the area. Passersby started to murmur and many of them were pointing at Doofenshmirtz.

The ambulance arrived and the boy was loaded into the back of it. The green haired boy had wanted to go with him but the EMTs had blocked his way, telling him that he would just get in the way and the best thing he could do was go home and let his parents know what had happened to his brother.

Doofenshmirtz watched as the boy turned to look at him with a look of gratitude in his eyes. A random woman passing by on the street pointed at Doofenshmirtz and shouted "He's a hero! I saw him save that boy's life!"

The green haired boy grabbed Doofenshmirtz's hand and whispered two words that were barely audible above the rising chatter among the onlookers at they closed in around the man with admiring gazes.

Doofenshmirtz ran then. He ran all the way back to his apartment. He had saved a life. He had done an ultimate act of goodness. This was terrible. This was awful. This was in total conflict with his personality, wasn't it?

Yet once he was safe inside the solitude of his apartment and could sink into the sofa cushions knowing that no one would be following him here to praise him, the soft words of that green haired boy echoed through his mind.

"Thank you."

And he hated himself because the knowledge that there was a boy on his way to the hospital, who wouldn't be alive if not for him, made him feel good.


	2. Chapter 2: Waiting

**Who I Am Inside**

**Chapter 2: Waiting**

**A/N: Thanks so much everyone. I really didn't expect that this story would do so well. As a reward for your fast and generous reviewing powers I give you chapter two. I hope it lives up to your expectations.**

Linda, Lawrence, Candace and Ferb sat in the ER's waiting room, waiting to hear any news about Phineas. As they sat there each member of the family was plagued by their own thoughts. Candace wished she had thought that the bike race was something to bust but it seemed relatively innocent in comparison to the other stunts her brothers pulled on a daily basis.

Lawrence was thinking that he should have been paying more attention to what the boys were doing and that he should have gone with them or done something to prevent this from happening. While Linda was thinking that she should have stayed home instead of doing the weekly shopping and perhaps she could have been able to have kept her boys safe.

But all of those thoughts were nothing in comparison to what was going through Ferb's mind. Ferb knew that that car was an uncontrollable variable. That car would have sped through that intersection without stopping no matter what was said or done. The thing that could have been controlled was which one of the two boys was the first to peddle their bike across the street.

Ferb didn't know why he had defaulted to Phineas. It was just something that happened. Phineas's social nature made him the automatic leader in everything they did. Ferb's general silence and introverted-ness made him the follower in most things. So he had allowed Phineas to start crossing the street ahead of him. In fact, Ferb had been mere inches behind his brother when the car came speeding down the street.

His parents had thanked God that they didn't have two boys in the hospital but Ferb didn't feel so fortunate. He wished he could have spent those terrifying moments while that man had been trying to revive his brother in a blissful state of unconsciousness. The emotional pain of it all encompassed his form and he pulled his knees to his chest, burying his face behind them as tears sprang to his eyes.

It was surprisingly not long before a doctor appeared and called Linda and Lawrence over to him. Ferb unfolded himself from his curled position, dried his eyes and went to stand by Candace who hung on the periphery of the group.

"He's got a few broken bones," the doctor reported "And a partially collapsed lung but the outcome looks good," he assured the family "There's two important things he has going in his favor: He was wearing his helmet which saved him from brain injury and the bystander who performed CPR and attempted to stop the bleeding at the scene." After a pause the doctor added "There's no doubt in my mind that your son wouldn't be alive right now without that quick intervention."

"Can we see him Doctor?" Linda asked.

"Yes," the doctor informed her and he took the family through the halls of the hospital to Phineas's room.

XXX

Across town Doofenshmirtz was wallowing in an odd array of emotions that included self pity, hatred and a dash of pride and self satisfaction. It was a new feeling for him to feel like he'd done something good and not wish that it hadn't happened. Nothing like when he'd caught that stupid kitten that fell from the tree by accident.

No, this, this was something much different than an accidental act of goodness. This he'd done purposely and without hesitation. This was much worse than the kitten incident. He hung his head, trying to remember exactly what was going through his mind in those moments.

The awful noise of the bike being struck, the sound of the other boy screaming his brother's name, the sight of the lifeless child on the pavement. The child… that boy was someone's child. Doofenshmirtz often stayed awake worrying about his own daughter and the many horrible things that might happen to her at any given moment. Perhaps when he saw that boy, he was thinking of Vanessa… no, that wasn't it, well that wasn't entirely it.

He could only imagine the pain of losing a child. But it was something more horrible than even the evil scientist would wish on anyone. He remembered how frantic he had felt when there had been no pulse, no sign of life in the small body and how finally life had come back into the still form. He couldn't help but feel good about that. He had spared some parent somewhere from feeling what he could only imagine was the worst agony in the world. He had done what he hoped someone would do for his Vanessa had the situation been different.

And yet, this good deed, this supremely righteous act of heroism was in direct conflict with everything he stood for, everything he was. He felt sick to his stomach and lighthearted all at once. He wished he could make it go away and yet he never wanted this feeling to end.

And he knew that he could not make it go away. All the evil schemes, all the inators in the world would not wipe this good deed from his otherwise black soul. Nothing short of killing the very child he had saved would do that. And there was no way that he could ever commit such an atrocity. He was evil but he had his limits.

He attempted to shrug off his feelings and stood to his feet. He had had an idea earlier this morning about stealing all the coffee in the Tri-State Area. Maybe doing that would cheer him up. Though he knew it wasn't really cheering up he needed. What he really needed was some kind of affirmation that he hadn't truly lost himself, that he was still Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Evil Genius.

XXX

Perry the Platypus sat in his chair in his secret lair, watching the cell phone video taken by a bystander earlier that morning. He couldn't help but feel extremely personally grateful to Doofenshmirtz for saving Phineas's life. Of course Major Monogram wanted Perry to present Doofenshmirtz once again with the traditional muffin basket.

"There's no way he can back out of it this time," Monogram stated, grinning broadly.

Perry had to agree as he left on his jetpack to deliver the muffin basket. No one in Danville and possibly even in the entire Tri-State Area would be forgetting this any time soon.


	3. Chapter 3: Guilt and Confusion

**Who I Am Inside**

**Chapter 3: Guilt and Confusion**

**A/N: Well, you asked for it and now you've got it. Chapter three of "Who I Am Inside". Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed and favorited and alerted. I hope you all enjoy this installment.**

The family crowded into Phineas's hospital room. Linda stood by the head of the bed on one side and Lawrence stood opposite her. Candace stood at the foot of the bed and Ferb hid himself behind his father's legs, peering out at his brother.

"Hey," Phineas said a little confusedly. He had been awake for a little over five minutes when they arrived in his room. He looked sheepishly at his mother who had tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes "Mom…?"

"Yes sweetie," she said gently.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

A tear or two spilled over then, "Oh honey, you don't need to be sorry," she wrapped her arms gently around him "It wasn't your fault."

Lawrence embraced Phineas from the other side; finding himself a little choked up as well as he added "We're just glad you're safe.."

When Lawrence had leaned forward to engulf Phineas and Linda in his arms, Phineas caught a quick glimpse of Ferb. The brothers locked eyes briefly before Ferb cast his gaze to the floor. Phineas wanted to say something about what he had been able to read in his brother's expression but he didn't want to do it in front of his parents and Candace.

"Well," said Linda after a long pause, reluctantly pulling away from Phineas "We should let you get some rest. Your Dad and I will be back later to see you," she gave Phineas a kiss on the forehead before ushering her family out of the room.

Ferb trailed behind the rest of his family, sparing a glance back at his brother who offered him a reassuring smile and thumbs up "I'll see you later Ferb?" Phineas asked hopefully.

Ferb shook his head slightly before turning and hurrying after his parents and sister.

XXX

Perry took the time to knock on the door of Doofenshmirtz's apartment. He waited patiently while the apartment's occupant shuffled towards the door.

"Who is it?" the evil scientist asked, sounding like he really didn't want to be bothered with a visitor today and truthfully, he didn't.

Upon opening the door Doofenshmirtz's already sour and dejected expression became, impossibly so, more sour and dejected. "Perry the Platypus," he greeted halfheartedly, immediately noticing the muffin basket "I guess you heard about what I did."

Doofenshmirtz's shoulders slumped and he retreated into the apartment, allowing Perry to follow him. He sank onto his sofa and the platypus placed the muffin basket on the coffee table before taking a seat on a nearby chair.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz bemoaned "There's nothing that can be done this time. I'll be the laughing stock of evil geniuses everywhere now."

His nemesis chattered in a reassuring way as if to say "What's so bad about that?"

"Because, I'm still evil," Doofenshmirtz retorted "I may have done one good thing, one very good thing and I may have done it entirely on purpose but… I'm still evil Perry the Platypus… I still want to rule the Tri-State Area and I still want the respect of my evil colleagues…"

Doofenshmirtz stood up and walked over to a partially covered object "You see, I've even started working on this," he pulled off the sheet, revealing a strange looking device "I call it the Java-Jack-Inator. You see I was thinking this morning, just before that little boy got hit by that car… that coffee is too expensive."

Perry considered saying or doing something to stop his nemesis's ramblings but considering the evil scientist's down mood, Perry thought that maybe it would cheer him up if he had an audience for a while. So he stayed quiet.

"So I figured if I could build something to steal all the coffee in the Tri-State Area then people would have to come to me to get their fix. You see, that's where the 'Jack' part comes into the Java-Jack-Inator, you know because Jack isn't just a guy's name but it's also another word for steal and…" Doofenshmirtz brought his hand to his forehead "And what's the point Perry the Platypus…?"

He left the half built inator and when to stare out the window "What's the point of any evil scheme anymore…?"

Perry felt truly sorry for his nemesis at that moment. Doofenshmirtz would never know and could never know how personally grateful Perry was but Perry knew that his gratitude would mean nothing to the conflicted man before him. Doofenshmirtz's entire world view had been thrown into chaos by one split second decision.

Perry chattered a farewell before exiting the apartment, leaving Doofenshmirtz to his thoughts. He left the muffin basket behind, figuring that comfort food might help his nemesis at least cheer up a little.

Doofenshmirtz turned away from the window and walked over to the coffee table. He picked up the muffin basket and the "Welcome to the side of good" note inside immediately caught his eye. He shrugged before drop kicking the basket a few feet away from him. One of the muffins bounced out and landed at his feet.

He picked it up and examined it "Hmm… Orange Cranberry Walnut…" he took a bite out of the muffin. Being good sure tasted good.

If being good felt good and tasted good… he sank back down on the sofa. He wasn't good. He knew that much. He was born to be evil. He was born to rule the Tri-State Area with an iron fist…

He sighed heavily as he finished the muffin. Things didn't seem as black and white in his mind as they once had.

XXX

Ferb sat on the edge of his bed. With Phineas in the hospital he didn't feel much like doing anything. Isabella and the others had made it back to the house earlier only to find out from Isabella's mother what had happened. The neighborhood kids had then gone their separate ways. No one had really stuck around to ask how Ferb was doing or to keep him company, not that he really wanted them to… well that wasn't true, if he was honest with himself he would say that indeed he would have wanted them to hang around. With his brother in the hospital he was feeling incredibly lonely.

Lonely and guilty. And the fact that none of the others had hung around with him after hearing about the accident only served to fuel his guilt by allowing him to believe that they too perhaps blamed him. He could tell from the look on Isabella's face when she ran up to his parents upon the family's return from the hospital that afternoon that she would have rather it had been Ferb who had been struck by the car instead of Phineas.

Of course, if he had bothered to talk to Isabella when he and his family arrived home instead of heading straight for his room, he would know that she didn't think that at all. In fact the young girl was, unbeknownst to Ferb, in the Flynn-Fletcher kitchen at that very moment, talking to Candace about what they might do to help Ferb.

"Maybe we could…" Isabella looked up at Candace, who seemed like she hadn't been paying attention at all. Isabella hopped off the chair she'd been sitting on and decided to go and find Ferb and ask him what would make him feel better instead.

Ferb was idly swinging his legs, kicking them up and letting them fall until they hit the side of his bed. It wasn't much of a thing to do but it was something to focus on to try to rid his mind of the ever present guilt.

He looked up when there was a knock on the door of the room. Instead of replying to the question that the knock implied he just went back to kicking his feet, hoping that Candace, who was to his knowledge the only other person in the house, would leave him alone.

Slowly and almost hesitantly, the door creaked open and Ferb found himself shocked when he saw Isabella's face peeking in. "Ferb…?" she began in a soft voice.

Ferb ceased kicking his legs and flung himself onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow and turning so that he was facing the wall. Isabella was not dissuaded by his actions which clearly conveyed the message that he wanted to be left alone.

She took a few steps into the room "You wanna come outside and run through the sprinklers or something…?" she asked him.

Ferb didn't respond, accept to throw an old beaten up stuffed animal at her. He hoped that she would get the message. He wasn't normally much for words but today he felt especially like remaining silent.

Isabella caught the stuffed animal handily and placed it on a nearby shelf before taking another step towards the bed "I know you're upset Ferb-"

Isabella was cut off as Ferb shot up from his pillow, tears in his eyes as he shoved her away "Go Away!" he shouted before returning to his pillow.

Isabella took a step back in surprise at the volume of Ferb's voice but she did not give up "Look," she stated quite plainly, her tone now sharp to combat the angry tone Ferb had used "I know it must be hard for you with your brother in the hospital but you could at least not yell at me."

"Sorry," came the pillow muffled and absolutely dejected sounding reply.

Isabella sat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on Ferb's shoulder "It's alright," she assured him. A long moment passed before she continued "Did you see it happen?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

A rather deflated "Mm-hmm," came from the green haired boy who continued to look away from her.

Isabella shivered. She couldn't imagine what that was like. Just hearing about the accident had caused her to burst into tears. Even now after hearing that Phineas was expected to make a full recovery she didn't like thinking about it. "Oh Ferb," she whispered "I'm so sorry…"

Ferb seemed to shrink into the pillow. This conversation was making him feel even more uncomfortable. But he didn't want to yell at Isabella again. He could try asking her nicely but he got the feeling that she wouldn't leave. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro was not known for giving up on anything without a fight.

"Ferb…?" Isabella began quietly after almost a full minute of silence. She wasn't quite sure what to say. With anyone else she would be able to make conversation, even with Buford she could usually count on a one or two word response from which she could formulate an appropriate reply. But with Ferb it was different. Ferb was silent, more silent than anyone Isabella had ever met. The only one who could actually carry on a conversation with Ferb, verbal or otherwise, was Phineas.

Isabella realized something then. With Phineas in the hospital Ferb had been cut off from his one true social outlet. She realized then how alone he must be feeling. She rubbed Ferb's shoulder comfortingly as she spoke "You know Ferb, you're not alone. I'm here if you want to talk, or even if you just want someone to sit with you."

Ferb slowly sat up and took her hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze and flashed her a small thankful smile. He slid across the covers of the bed so that he was sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. He fixed his gaze on the floor.

Isabella looked at him before she too began to stare at the floor. If and when he wanted to talk, she figured, she'd be there.


	4. Chapter 4: Brothers and Daughters

**Who I Am Inside**

**Chapter 4: Brothers and Daughters**

**A/N: Thanks again to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. This chapter has one HECK of a twist at the end and is the longest chapter of this story so far. So I'm begging all my readers and reviewers to keep an open mind here. I'm really worried about how well this twist will go over even though to me it seems like a natural development. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter.**

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was broken from his thoughts by yet another knock on his apartment door. He grumbled something under his breath and trudged to answer it again.

"Hi Dad," his sixteen year old daughter Vanessa greeted him with a smile.

That set him completely off balance and he was even more thrown when she hugged him "Hello… Vanessa…" he greeted slowly. When she pulled away he added "Are you feeling alright? You haven't been cloned or replaced by some sort of alien cy-borg that failed to copy your personality precisely or-"

"Dad!" Vanessa griped, the smile turning to a frown.

"Never mind," her father finished once he saw his daughter looking and acting in the manner he was used to. He ushered his daughter inside the apartment "Would you like a muffin Vanessa?" he offered, pointing to the semi-crushed basket which he had retrieved from the floor and which now sat on his coffee table once more "They're quite tasty."

Vanessa declined the muffin "Oh Dad," she smiled again as she looked at him with something that Doofenshmirtz hadn't seen from her in many years, far too many years to count, adoration.

"Vanessa…?" he questioned a bit suspiciously "Why are you here today? I mean not that I'm not glad to see you. Because I'm always glad to see you," he back peddled quickly. "But, you didn't happen to see or hear about anything on the news today or on the internet… did you?"

Vanessa frowned "Of course I did Dad," she informed him "It's all over the internet and the news and everything," she searched for and finally located the remote for the television, which she had to triple check wouldn't cause something in her father's apartment to explode, and turned on the TV.

Coincidentally the story was playing. Over the footage of Doofenshmirtz performing CPR on the child and attempting to stop the bleeding with his lab coat a reporter was speaking "As the young boy lay motionless a heroic bystander jumped into action, giving him the life saving aid that he desperately required…"

"And why was I the only one who was doing anything?" Doofenshmirtz asked, suddenly outraged when he saw the other bystanders simply watching "Just look at those people taking video on their camera phones and… ARGH… that lady didn't even stop drinking her coffee! What is the world coming to when the bad guy saves the day because no one else cares enough to get involved?"

"Sources say the child is in stable condition at the hospital," the reporter continued.

"Well, that's good at least," Doofenshmirtz sighed, feeling an odd sense of relief. Odd because he hadn't really given the boy's prognosis a second thought and had only been thinking of his own woes up until now.

The screen cut to an interview with the Doctor who had been on call at the hospital "There's no doubt in my mind that that boy would not have survived without the quick intervention of this man," he told the reporter.

Vanessa smiled at her father "You're a hero Dad," she told him before giving him another hug.

"No Vanessa," he tried to explain as she gripped him tighter "I'm still evil… I just…"

"I'm proud of you Daddy," she said into his ear.

'Daddy' now that was something Doofenshmirtz hadn't heard in ages. It was something that when he heard it again for the first time in so many years, it made his eyes mist over. He missed being called 'Daddy'. He missed it when his little girl used to look up at him like he was the greatest guy in the entire world.

And it was all because of his good deed. Now being good not only felt and tasted good but it also sounded good and looked good. That was four out of five senses. Being good was starting to beat out being evil by a large margin. And yet, he still felt conflicted. His heart was torn between the side of good and the side of evil. Though the good side was making very compelling arguments at this point the part of him that still desired to be evil was not relenting.

"You wanna go get some pizza?" Vanessa asked a few minutes later when she had broken the hug and turned off the TV.

Doofenshmirtz shook his head "Nah, I really don't want to be seen right now."

Vanessa shook her head. Her dad could be weird sometimes "Alright," she told him "But I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get some pizza. Do you want anything Daddy?"

'Daddy', there it was again. And his heart gave a tremendous lurch towards goodness only to be yanked back into the turmoil by the evil side. "No thanks," he replied as nonchalantly as he could "I've still got plenty of muffins."

Vanessa shook her head again and left the apartment.

Doofenshmirtz resumed his head-in-hands position on the sofa. An odd though occurred to him as he once again tried to ponder on his lot in life. Had they ever caught the driver of that car?

XXX

It had been a full hour of silence as Isabella sat next to Ferb in his room. Isabella, strong willed though she might be, was getting a little antsy. She finally broke the silence, deciding to try a different tactic. "Your mom told my mom that I could go see Phineas this afternoon," she began. Ferb looked up at her but remained quiet "You can come too if you want."

Ferb shook his head sadly.

"Phineas probably wants to see you," Isabella pointed out.

Ferb nodded. He remembered all too well the hopeful tone his brother had used earlier. Still he couldn't face Phineas, not while the guilt still stabbed at him. The very sight of his brother caused him to exercise restraint lest he burst into wracking sobs. The mere thought of going to visit Phineas caused tears to prick at his eyes.

"Come on Ferb," Isabella gently nudged him with her elbow.

"I can't Isabella," he said finally.

Isabella almost smiled with triumph at getting him to say something at last but the victory was quite bittersweet. Her friend's tone sounded completely defeated and the way he looked at her was heartbreaking.

"Why not?" she asked, not completely understanding and needing an explanation. She knew full well though that her chances of getting an explanation about anything from Ferb were rather low.

Her instincts were correct as he simply shook his head at her.

"Isa!" her mother called a short while later from the living room of the Flynn-Fletcher home "Are you ready to go!"

Isabella stood up and grabbed Ferb by the hand "Come on," she smiled encouragingly before forcefully dragging Ferb from the bedroom to where her mother was waiting.

Vivian Garcia Shapiro stood with Linda and Lawrence in the living room. The three had been discussing the accident, Phineas's mysterious guardian angel, the police department's search for the driver and Ferb. They had been talking at great length about Ferb. How he had seen the accident in front of him, how he had been told to run home and tell his parents what had happened by paramedics while his brother was put into the back of an ambulance and most importantly, the way he'd shied away from Phineas at the hospital earlier that day.

"He's always been a quiet boy," Lawrence had said "But I'm really worried about him. It's… it's like something just broke inside of him."

Vivian had offered to take Ferb with her and Isabella when they went to see Phineas. Linda had agreed that would be a fantastic idea.

"When we went back to see him today," Linda had said with a faint smile "All he wanted to talk about was 'Where's Ferb?' 'Why didn't Ferb come with you?' 'Can you call home so I can talk to Ferb?'. And of course when I called Candace answered and she wanted to talk to Phineas first and somehow forgot to even ask Ferb to come to the phone…"

"I got another call from Jeremy," Candace had protested.

When Vivian called for Isabella it had surprised everyone in the room when she skipped downstairs, dragging Ferb behind her. Ferb, while still looking as Lawrence had put it, like something had 'broken' inside him, nonetheless kept pace with his friend as best he could.

"Can Ferb come with us?" Isabella asked of her mother.

Vivian smiled at her daughter "That sounds like a wonderful idea mija," she replied.

XXX

Isabella couldn't help but notice and be a little hurt by the way that Phineas's face lit up the second he saw his brother. But she didn't mind too badly. After all, he had offered her a gorgeous smile upon her entry into the room as well.

"Ferb! Isabella!" the red haired child greeted happily, trying to sit up in bed then being reminded by way of pain that he wasn't quite capable of such a motion at this time.

Ferb kept his eyes on the floor as he trudged forward and brought a chair to the bedside for Isabella.

Isabella smiled kindly at her friend "Thanks Ferb," she replied as she took a seat.

Ferb got another chair for himself but placed it significantly further from the bed.

"How are you feeling Phineas?" Isabella asked him with a sweet smile plastered on her face for his benefit.

"I've had better days," Phineas tried to laugh for the benefit of his visitors but broken ribs and laughter have never mixed well. He cringed visibly as the laughter died abruptly on his lips.

"I'm sorry," Ferb said in a soft, tear filled voice.

Isabella and Phineas turned to see Ferb hunched over in his sear, his knees drawn to his chest and tears in his eyes.

"Ferb…" Phineas began in a concerned tone as he looked upon his brother "You don't need to be sorry," Phineas's words echoed those of his mother earlier that day "I'm alright."

Ferb turned away and was about to say something else when Isabella's mother burst into the room, her arms laden with boxes from the hospital gift shop. She smiled at Phineas "I got you some things to make your stay here more enjoyable," she told him as she set the boxes and bags down on a conveniently placed table. She was halfway through laying out the items when she noticed Ferb's tears.

She crossed the room instantly and engulfed the boy in a hug, rocking him back and forth. "What are all the tears for?" she questioned, having some idea.

Ferb couldn't hold his guilt in anymore "It's my fault," he sobbed softly into Vivian's shoulder "It should have been me that got hit."

Phineas wished desperately at that moment that he could get out of his hospital bed and offer his brother a hug or a pat on the shoulder. Never had he been so shocked by Ferb's words. He was going to speak when Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro beat him to it.

"No, no, no, no Ferb," she soothed "None of this is your fault, not at all. It was all the fault of the man driving that car."

"Ferb," Phineas added "If you'd been hit by the car, I'd have never forgiven myself for suggesting that stupid bike race."

Ferb dried his eyes and looked up at his brother. His brother had such a love for summer and such a zest for life. Now that he was so badly injured, he'd be lucky if he was healed up well enough to leave the house by the start of the school year. The rest of Phineas's summer was shot and Ferb felt responsible.

Phineas read his brother's gaze like a book "Don't worry about me," he smiled reassuringly.

Ferb pulled away from Isabella's mother and made his way over to his brother's bedside. Gently, as his mother and father had earlier that day, he wrapped his arms around his brother, careful of the IV and various monitors and the tube that was keeping his lung inflated.

Phineas returned the embrace as best he could. Luckily he had come out of the accident with two fully functioning arms and could still hug properly.

"I'm still sorry," Ferb whispered.

"I know," Phineas replied "I'm sorry that you're sorry."

XXX

Roger Doofenshmirtz was royally screwed. No one had recognized the car that had struck the boy and eye witness accounts were varied. But Roger knew all too well the identity of the driver who had ran that boy on the bicycle over.

Being mayor did not stop someone from doing stupid things from time to time. In fact the pull of political office usually leant itself more too stupid things than the prevention of stupid things. Roger was no saint as he would have people believe; he was guilty of more than a few stupid things in his life. And far too many of those stupid things had happened during his tenure as mayor of Danville.

He enjoyed cognac and other strong alcoholic beverages on a regular basis. He had always been careful though and had never been drunk during his work day. He enjoyed driving fast but he'd always kept his speed demon nature outside of Danville and confined to rural areas. He enjoyed sleeping around; being the mayor had its perks. But he had never had an affair on the night before he'd have to be in the office.

Today, all of his careful measures had failed him and he could feel the walls closing in on him.

He and Melanie had escaped to his cabin just north of Danville for a little fun. The two of them had stayed up quite late and overslept. When he'd awoken, he'd been in such a hurry to get back to town before he'd be missed that he'd left Melanie up there.

He'd still been a little tipsy from the night before and hadn't been paying attention until it was too late. He'd kept going after hitting the child to avoid the embarrassment of it. He was the mayor after all. He wanted to avoid any and all scandal.

The car was one that he kept in his garage specifically for weekend getaways and would not have been recognized by many as belonging to him. He'd since gotten rid of the car, removing the license plates and leaving it in a junkyard to be crushed. Hopefully no one would notice the bloody fender.

Most of his afternoon after disposing of his car had been spent sitting in his office, fretting and worrying to the point of nearly pulling his hair out. He hadn't been watching the news or listening to the radio or on the internet at all. He had only been listening to the police scanner and keeping tabs on their progress tracking the car involved in the hit and run.

He had no idea that his own brother had played a key role in saving the life that he had so recklessly endangered. He could only think of himself and his own problems.


End file.
